completely not
I've made it my priority to get Jez and Ori talking once again. I mean, they were best friends. I dunno what happened.
I think Jez and I are OK. I mean, we haven't had a slip up or anything since that house party..so long ago.
I swear, you would never know we even kissed. We did kiss..right?
I don't think it was a figment of my imagination now. Could have been..because I forget a lot of things. Especially, on quizzes. My brain is fried.
Hello, I went to summer school this summer. Duh...
As if that were a blast. I mean, my life totally sucks, but I'm pretty darn sure Ori's sucks more. She's like totally weird now after what ever went down with her and Will.
I wish she'd tell me about it. I offered to listen.
See, I'd seen her down at Casey's. That's where everybody goes in our neighborhood. So its not Rodeo Drive or whatever. Its a gas station that has a pizza place.
Yeah, they make pizza there. Sell, beer too. Once I found some Smirnoff in the dumpster. Talk about knocking my socks off. Ooops sorry to get off the subject. I do that sometimes.
So there was Ori. I was like ..cool, smiling like a freak'n idiot. I don't think she thought I came on to her. I really didn't mean too. Honest, it wasn't like that, even if Ty told me later it was.
Jesus, will anyone ..ever give me a break?
So I mentioned Jez instead of Will ..cause I got the impression that maybe it wouldn't be so good to ask her about him.
She's in her sweetest of short shorts. White, no less. She made her halter top out of blue bandannas. Sweet. Need, I say more. She was freak'n hot. And so I bought her a pizza. Cause I kind of wanted her to stick around.
I asked if she'd seen Jez..cause I hadn't. I mean, I just imagine her sunning on a sunny beach with out a bikini top. Even in my dream I didn't get to see anything.
But yeah, I'm with Ori and I'm trying my best to come up with questions while we are scarfing down cheese pizza.
Me: So what's up with you and Jez?
Ori: Nothing, we haven't talked in ages.
Me: Come on, it can't be ages. How long are we talking about? (OK, I'm grinning way to much and possibly choking on my slice of pizza wishing we'd ordered pepperoni, but Ori is vegetarian)
Ori: Its been a pretty long time, Jory (OH MY GOD SHE SAID MY NAME. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED?)
Me: So what happened? You know, you two not talking?
Ori: I dunno. Probably, cause I'm not popular in her book.
Me: She's got a book, huh? (Ori rolls her eyes at that.) I mean, right..yeah, I know she wants to be popular. (Shake my head realizing I have no chance in hell of ever hooking up with Jez, again)
I think Jez and I are OK. I mean, we haven't had a slip up or anything since that house party..so long ago.
I swear, you would never know we even kissed. We did kiss..right?
I don't think it was a figment of my imagination now. Could have been..because I forget a lot of things. Especially, on quizzes. My brain is fried.
Hello, I went to summer school this summer. Duh...
As if that were a blast. I mean, my life totally sucks, but I'm pretty darn sure Ori's sucks more. She's like totally weird now after what ever went down with her and Will.
I wish she'd tell me about it. I offered to listen.
See, I'd seen her down at Casey's. That's where everybody goes in our neighborhood. So its not Rodeo Drive or whatever. Its a gas station that has a pizza place.
Yeah, they make pizza there. Sell, beer too. Once I found some Smirnoff in the dumpster. Talk about knocking my socks off. Ooops sorry to get off the subject. I do that sometimes.
So there was Ori. I was like ..cool, smiling like a freak'n idiot. I don't think she thought I came on to her. I really didn't mean too. Honest, it wasn't like that, even if Ty told me later it was.
Jesus, will anyone ..ever give me a break?
So I mentioned Jez instead of Will ..cause I got the impression that maybe it wouldn't be so good to ask her about him.
She's in her sweetest of short shorts. White, no less. She made her halter top out of blue bandannas. Sweet. Need, I say more. She was freak'n hot. And so I bought her a pizza. Cause I kind of wanted her to stick around.
I asked if she'd seen Jez..cause I hadn't. I mean, I just imagine her sunning on a sunny beach with out a bikini top. Even in my dream I didn't get to see anything.
But yeah, I'm with Ori and I'm trying my best to come up with questions while we are scarfing down cheese pizza.
Me: So what's up with you and Jez?
Ori: Nothing, we haven't talked in ages.
Me: Come on, it can't be ages. How long are we talking about? (OK, I'm grinning way to much and possibly choking on my slice of pizza wishing we'd ordered pepperoni, but Ori is vegetarian)
Ori: Its been a pretty long time, Jory (OH MY GOD SHE SAID MY NAME. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED?)
Me: So what happened? You know, you two not talking?
Ori: I dunno. Probably, cause I'm not popular in her book.
Me: She's got a book, huh? (Ori rolls her eyes at that.) I mean, right..yeah, I know she wants to be popular. (Shake my head realizing I have no chance in hell of ever hooking up with Jez, again)
Monday, July 16, 2012
its hard to know
"Kiss me hard..before you go.."
I can not get that song out of my head. I want to. But all I can do is listen to Lana Del Rey. I really think I understand her. And what's worse, I so hate being this love sick. I don't mean to be. Honestly, I'm better than this, but when it comes to Will. Everything is different.
Of course, would he even look my way at school? No way.
He's this snob. Dressed like he's ready for Jeopardy. Suit and tie. Shit, who dresses up like that at school? Just Will, that's who. Ready to snub anyone, who comes his way.
Its so intimidating. I want to just kick him in the shins. You know, drop him a notch or two. So we might be eye level. I guess.
OK, so maybe he's sort of giraffe boy, to some. The way he shuffles down the hall, almost slo-mo. Does he ever look down? Never.
There I am. I'm looking up. I want to say HEY, LOOK DOWN HERE. But I only say it under my breath. Hold my books close.
Yes, we might have had some sort of serendipity moment. I know he's a nice guy. I really do. But does it look that way now?
He makes me so mad!
I've actually cleaned up my room. Will's driven me to clean up my room! No one has that sort of power over me.
I found my stash of change. I had 40 dollars in change! Imagine that. I'm even starting to think I could design something on my own. Well, it would be up-cycling. Where you recycle scarves into blankets. That kind of thing. But this is taking a tank and a sweater to make it this really cool top.
Who knew I could get so creative! Just waiting for Will to know.. I do exist. Ugh...
Why am I this way?
I can not get that song out of my head. I want to. But all I can do is listen to Lana Del Rey. I really think I understand her. And what's worse, I so hate being this love sick. I don't mean to be. Honestly, I'm better than this, but when it comes to Will. Everything is different.
Of course, would he even look my way at school? No way.
He's this snob. Dressed like he's ready for Jeopardy. Suit and tie. Shit, who dresses up like that at school? Just Will, that's who. Ready to snub anyone, who comes his way.
Its so intimidating. I want to just kick him in the shins. You know, drop him a notch or two. So we might be eye level. I guess.
OK, so maybe he's sort of giraffe boy, to some. The way he shuffles down the hall, almost slo-mo. Does he ever look down? Never.
There I am. I'm looking up. I want to say HEY, LOOK DOWN HERE. But I only say it under my breath. Hold my books close.
Yes, we might have had some sort of serendipity moment. I know he's a nice guy. I really do. But does it look that way now?
He makes me so mad!
I've actually cleaned up my room. Will's driven me to clean up my room! No one has that sort of power over me.
I found my stash of change. I had 40 dollars in change! Imagine that. I'm even starting to think I could design something on my own. Well, it would be up-cycling. Where you recycle scarves into blankets. That kind of thing. But this is taking a tank and a sweater to make it this really cool top.
Who knew I could get so creative! Just waiting for Will to know.. I do exist. Ugh...
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
in a bad way
I feel myself breaking inside when she's around. I mean, there are guys who would know what to do. I don't.
I do know..I have to let her go. Even so, I can't forget how she smelled like fresh lemons and honey. Now I'm smiling. I wish I wasn't.
She's gonna hate me. I don't think we could ever be in the friend's zone. It would be nice. But I don't really want to be friends. I just want that night back with her. And I dunno what to do. Just live in the silence I guess. Watch her go by, but hope she doesn't know I watched her go by.
I know. I'm just an ass. That's all there is to it. How can I not be? That's all people think of... when the word comes up. Will, the stupid ass who hates everything.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
not so bad
Of course, it might as well have been a dream now because she kind of oblivious. This might be my fault because I'm kind of quiet.
I just thought she'd make her move. Sounds like she'd have to be a tiger or something and pounce on me in the lunch line. Which, I don't mean. I just need a sign. I'm not asking for a billboard that says I LOVE YOU JORY.
But you know, a smile. A little wave. Something simple.
God, why am I dwelling on this. Its been weeks since that freaking party. Like September. Where does the time go?
